Well here you go, a complete listing of the Top Ram's as seen in the eyes, ears, and rears of the Ram Connection.

Must Ram

Just where does it go?

1. The Clean Ram.

This fantastic little number is a God-send. Upon completing a ram, during your initial wipe, you discover that your Charmin is still antique white. (Being a conscientious rammer you proceed to proof-read, but yet again your reading is the same.)

2. The Ghost Ram.

As you all know any good ram deserves a look see. This strange sighting is nothing less than a job for the X-Files. It occurs when you look at your ram and find that it is not there. It some how mysteriously disappeared before you could gaze upon its beauty.

3. The Floater.

When your ram floats. A rare occurrence with men, as this ram is usually associated with the female of the species.

4. Atomic Ram.

Usually a precursor to diarrhea, this messy abomination starts with a rumbling in the lower abdominal region. This is followed by a tightening of the buttocks and usually gives barely enough of a warning for you to make it to the rammer in time. This ram is an explosion of catastrophic proportion. It may have enough force to create a loss of personal gravity. The force of semi liquid ram, peanut style chunks and rapid methane emission is so great, it causes you to hover over the toilet floating in dismay.

5. Oh God Help Me Ram.

Your ram hurts so bad, that you would swear it was coming out sideways. And when it does finally appear in the murky waters below, it is about the size of a marble. This ram usually occurs when you have obviously waited too long to ram.







You may be one of the lucky ones to have encountered one of these various forms of Ram.






It just doesn't get any better than this!





Please be advised that this most important site is under construction. But don't fret my friend, It will be pack full of Ram Power, and continually changing with every flush of the toilet.

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Last updated 6/20/97

Copyright 1997

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