Well here you go, a complete listing of the Top Ram's
as seen in the eyes, ears, and rears of the Ram Connection.
Just where does it
This fantastic little number is a God-send.
Upon completing a ram, during your initial wipe, you
discover that your Charmin is still antique white. (Being a
conscientious rammer you proceed to proof-read, but yet
again your reading is the same.)
As you all know any
good ram deserves a look see. This strange sighting is
nothing less than a job for the X-Files. It occurs when you
look at your ram and find that it is not there. It some how
mysteriously disappeared before you could gaze upon its
3. The Floater.
When your ram floats. A
rare occurrence with men, as this ram is usually associated
with the female of the species.
4. Atomic Ram.
Usually a precursor to
diarrhea, this messy abomination starts with a rumbling in
the lower abdominal region. This is followed by a tightening
of the buttocks and usually gives barely enough of a warning
for you to make it to the rammer in time. This ram is an
explosion of catastrophic proportion. It may have enough
force to create a loss of personal gravity. The force of
semi liquid ram, peanut style chunks and rapid methane
emission is so great, it causes you to hover over the toilet
floating in dismay.
Oh God Help Me Ram.
Your ram hurts so bad, that you would swear
it was coming out sideways. And when it does finally appear
in the murky waters below, it is about the size of a marble.
This ram usually occurs when you have obviously waited too
long to ram.
You may be one of the lucky ones to
have encountered one of these various forms of Ram.
It just doesn't get any better than
Please be advised that this most important
site is under construction. But don't fret my friend, It
will be pack full of Ram Power, and continually changing
with every flush of the toilet.